Thankful for What I Can Do

Last night I had quite a good sleep and woke up to an amazingly beautiful day. This morning I could enjoy a hot shower and then spent some time reading comforting promises and encouragements that I have highlighted in my online Bible reading program. I was able to read through the entire Bible (NT and Psalms twice) in 10 weeks, and I highlighted about 100 passages that spoke to me. Now I enjoy re-reading those bookmarks on my iPad.

It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking about the things I can no longer do, but far better to be thankful about what I am able to do and enjoy. I enjoyed lots of sunshine on my driveway today watching the grandchildren play and ride their bikes in 21C temperature (who needs Florida in this weather?). We also went for a lovely walk along Hamilton harbor at Pier 4 Park while the grand kids cycled and even played in the sand. The grand kids say "hi Opa" when they see me, and then run off to play. I would love to be able to talk more with them besides "hi", "bye", and "love you", but they seem to understand that this is the new 'norm'. Three year old Aliya came running in one morning shouting "Hi Opa. Guess what? I prayed for you!" and then asked me if she could play on my iPad. That's how kids are.

I weighed myself this morning and I was 198 lbs, down from 220 lbs before my illness began. I suppose it's due to a reduced appetite, eating slower as well as the atrophy of the muscles. I cannot remember when I was under 200 (maybe 20 years ago). I can notice it on how my clothes fit. It makes it a little easier for Lena to move me around and get me dressed.

I do feel most secure and comfortable at home, but I am still thankfully able to attend church twice per Lord's Day, and I tag along on trips to the grocery store. The change in scenery is good, and the fellowship with God's people under the ministry of the Word is uplifting. Grace sufficient for each day, and the Hymn "I Need Thee Every Every Hour" have taken on new meaning for me.

This Earth is Not Our Rest - J.C. Ryle

There is such a place as heaven. No truth is more certain in the whole of Scripture than this - there remains a rest for the people of God. This earth is not our rest - it cannot be - there breathes not a man or woman who ever found it so. Go, build your happiness on earth, if you are so disposed; choose everything you can imagine would make life enjoyable - take money, house, and lands; take learning, health, and beauty; take honor, rank, respect, and many friends; take everything your mind can picture or your eyes desire. Take it all, and yet I dare to tell you, that even then you would not find rest. I know well that in a few short years, your heart's confession would be - "It is all hollow, empty, and unsatisfying! It is all weariness and disappointment! It is all vanity and frustration!" I well know that you would feel within a hungering and famine, a leanness and barrenness of soul; and ready indeed would you be to bear your testimony to the mighty truth, "This earth is not our rest!" ~ J.C. Ryle

Do Not Be Surprised at Trials and Afflictions – J. C. Ryle

If we know anything of growth in grace and desire to know more, let us not be surprised if we have to go through much trial and affliction in this world. I firmly believe it is the experience of nearly all the most eminent saints. Like their blessed Master, they have been men of sorrows, acquainted with grief, and perfected through sufferings (Isa. 53:3; Heb. 2:10). It is a striking saying of our Lord, “Every branch in Me that bears fruit [my Father] purges it, that it may bring forth more fruit” (John 15:2).

It is a melancholy fact, that constant temporal prosperity, as a general rule, is injurious to a believer’s soul. We cannot stand it. Sicknesses, losses, crosses, anxieties and disappointments seem absolutely needful to keep us humble, watchful and spiritual–minded. They are as needful as the pruning knife to the vine and the refiner’s furnace to the gold. They are not pleasant to flesh and blood. We do not like them and often do not see their meaning. “No chastening for the present seems to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness” (Heb. 12:11).

We shall find that all worked for our good when we reach heaven. Let these thoughts abide in our minds, if we love growth in grace. When days of darkness come upon us, let us not count it a strange thing. Rather let us remember that lessons are learned on such days, which would never have been learned in sunshine. Let us say to ourselves, “This also is for my profit, that I may be a partaker of God’s holiness. It is sent in love. I am in God’s best school. Correction is instruction. This is meant to make me grow.”

The Winter That Wasn't

Living in Ontario, we normally have 4 months of fairly severe winter. Snowstorms and below zero temperatures are the norm throughout the winter, however, this winter has been exceptionally mild and we've had very little snow. The teachers at the school where I was a principal gave me a gift of free snow shovelling all winter. They hired a few students to come to our house and shovel out our driveway but, unfortunately for the students, this only happened a few times and each time there was not very much snow. We are very thankful to God that we were spared severe conditions as this made it much easier to get out and travel with the electric wheelchair. Our gas and hydro bills were also quite reasonable this winter because of the above normal temperatures. God has been good to us, also in this.

My shoulders and hips are getting weaker, making it difficult to get around and get dressed. My voice is also getting softer and more garbled in the last few weeks. Older people have difficulty hearing and understanding me and I often have to repeat myself and try to speak louder, which is very tiring. I find this frustrating and my wife says I should be more patient with the old folks. I still have lots to learn. God is so patient with me. This week we have an appointment to meet with the Technology Access Clinic (TAC) team. They will be assessing my speech to determine my need for assistive communication devices. A few months ago, they recommended that we start voice banking, that is, recording various common phrases in my own voice and burning them onto a disc for future use. We actually found out about this too late as by then, my voice was already changing but we did do some. It sounds like we'll be putting this to use fairly soon.

Yesterday my father celebrated his 91st birthday. This also is an unexpected blessing for our family because he had his first heart attack 21 years ago and has had 3 bypass surgeries. 

My mother is 84 years old and together they live in a christian rest home. It is very difficult for these elderly parents to see their son getting weaker every week. My father says that he would gladly trade places with me, but of course, those decisions are not ours to make.