This morning I woke Jack up and told him it was time to get out of bed. He said, "Oh I just want to stay in bed. When I lay still and don't move, I feel like I don't have ALS". Then he moves, and brutal reality hits! I'd love to let him sleep in but I still have to go to work for a little while longer and he needs my help now to get showered and dressed.
We've been empty nesters now for quite a few years and just love doing everything together. We have our morning routine, breakfast together, he drives me to work and we take our coffee mugs with us in the car. He puts on 680 news as I take out the dentusticks and we proceed to floss our teeth, I tell him to "slow down, it's 50 here" and he pulls up in front of the hospital and I kiss him goodbye. We go grocery shopping , go to the bank, visit our children and are always together. I don't think we took it for granted because we often said to each other, "Isn't this fun just being together and doing everyday errands makes us happy".
This morning I drove to work alone. I was half way there and the tears began to flow as the realization sank in; this is going to be my routine now.
At work I have to "hit the road running" because the patients are already standing at the door at 0800 even though their appointment isn't until 0830. I like being busy at work, time flies when you're busy. I enjoy my job and the people I work with and the patients. It's a part of my life that does not include Jack so there are no reminders of him there and because I'm busy I forget about what's going on in our lives, kind of like what Jack said this morning, "I feel like I don't have ALS". Then we see a 40 year old man with symptoms of ALS who has to be referred to Dr.J.Turnbull, and another man comes in on an electric wheelchair that looks just like the one standing in the corner of our dining room, and brutal reality hits.
It's so beautiful outside. We sit on the patio and Jack tells me about his day; about Ryk who has once again spent the day working in our garden, about Barb who has once again given us more equipment and about Frank and Marion who have once again delivered it for us. Then our daughter-in-law comes over bringing another meal for us and home-made baked goods and our son hangs a mirror to finish off our bathroom. It has been another day overflowing with kindness and love. God is so good to us!
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