Sometimes I wish it was all over, and that I am tired of living like this. But God has His purposes for trials and afflictions, and His timetable is perfectly suited to our needs. Each cross is first weighed in His nail pierced hands before He gives it to us. He knows what we need, and He knows what we can handle. My prayer has not been for healing, (even though it is not wrong to ask for), but my prayer is that I would be faithful to my Saviour to the end of my journey.
I shed tears of sorrow as I lose more of my functions and abilities. I know that it doesn't change anything, and that I end up just feeling sorry for myself. But it does help me to get rid of a build up of frustration. The latest loss is that I am no longer able to bear weight on my legs, but my knees just buckle. I also cannot drink fluids by mouth without choking. I get all of my fluids now through the tube in my stomach (g tube).
I shed tears of joy when I consider all the love, care, and help that I receive from family, friends, from the church and school community. But above all, I shed tears of joy knowing that Jesus has forgiven my sins, and gives me peace in my heart. One day these knees will be able to bend before Him in gratitude and praise for what He has done for me. I can hardly wait.
Jack.
Dear Jack,
ReplyDeleteSo good to hear from you again! I don't know how you communicate all this still but we are so glad that you can. Sarah told me that she watched the kids perform for Grandparents day today and I'm guessing your name must have been mentioned during the program because she said she had her glasses off and was crying because she doesn't want you to die. Makes me cry just thinking of it too. What a burden for everyone to bear and mostly you and Lena. What a wonderful hope we have in Jesus! Praying he helps you every step of this most difficult way with much grace. You are often in our prayers and thoughts.
We love you Jack!
You are pointing us all to the strength that really matters....hugely appreciated and inspiring...thank you...
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing Jack. You, Lena and the kids are in our daily prayers. We pray that our Heavenly Father will carry you through this and that he will carry you to Heaven. But we will miss you so bad. Love and a big hug.
ReplyDeleteHanneke
We are praying for you and aunt lena. For Peace and extra comfort. We miss you both. Dave and I are so grateful for you. The encouragement and interest you showed during dave's university and then career and then our marriage! Christ gave us a great gift in you. Thank you for your testimony of Him!
ReplyDeleteHello Jack.
ReplyDeleteYou probably wouldn't remember me, but we sang together in the 2010 OneDay Male Choir. Reading your blog as been spiritually grounding and uplifting. Grounding because it places our priorities where they should be and uplifting because, well, you can't wait to meet our elder brother Jesus! I pray for Him to carry you peacefully across the river Jordan to glories that abide with Him!
If you're a member of RCM Online, please listen to the last song of this concert,
http://www.rcmonline.ca/archive/Recordings-2013_3/Musica-Sacra-Chorus---Collegium-Musicum-Male-Chorus--St--Catharines--Ontario--April-6--2013_68/
It's called "Soon Ah Will Be Done". If you can't get to this, there's a beautiful rendition on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyVjlaeHGlA
"Soon ah will be done with the troubles of the world. No more weepin' and wailin'. I want, I want to meet my Jesus! I'm goin' to live with God!" One day we'll sing together Jack.
God be with you, till we meet again.
Henk Vanden Beukel
Dear Jack & Lena,
ReplyDeleteThough you haven't heard from me, you have been in my prayers. I am grateful for your tears of sorrow and joy in the Lord Jesus Christ.
With love in Him,
Foppe VanderZwaag
I'm praying for you Jack, and for Lena and the family. "God IS our refuge and strength".
ReplyDeleteDear Brother, I can't help but believe that there will be tears in the new heaven and new earth as well - not of sorrow, regret, pain, or shame but... of awe, wonder, joy, love, and sheer delight of being sinless in His presence.Can't you just picture, the Tender Lamb of God wiping away such tears with adoring compassion! We love you brother and sister. May God carry you along this path in His Fatherly love.
ReplyDeleteDear Jack and Lena,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. We pray for you every day that the Lord will give you strength to go His way. The way you trust Him encourages me to trust Him, too. Love, Amanda
JACK,
ReplyDeleteMAKES MY HEART WEEP TO READ ABOUT YOU LOSING MORE AND MORE OF YOUR FUNCTIONS, BUT IT ALSO MAKES MY HEART WEEP WITH JOY ABOUT THE AWESOME GOD WE HAVE IN THE LORD JESUS CHRIST, AND THAT IN YOUR TRIALS YOU ARE STILL ABLE TO SEE HIS HAND IN ALL THIS. GOD BE PRAISED.
Dear Jack and Lena;
ReplyDeleteThank you for being such a witness. I am so comforted and strengthened by your writings. I sincerely hope and pray for you that the Lord will keep you till the end, that you will be able to endure till the end and afterwards be recieved into glory. Thank you for always pointing us to Christ our Saviour. God be with you and your family.
Dear Jack and Lena:
ReplyDeleteI so often think of you and pray that God will help you and keep you till the end, that you may be able to endure this trial to the end and then be recieved into glory. Thank you for always and again pointing us to our Lord and Saviour. I have been so much encouraged. May God be near you all and help you during this trial.
Corrie
"Each cross is first weighed in His nail pierced hands before He gives it to us." What a comforting thought! Praying for you Jack & Lena, and your dear family. Keep giving Him the glory...some day, NO TEARS. We long for that day too! Come quickly, Lord Jesus! love and prayers, Rick & Kim
ReplyDelete